It’s April Fools day, one of my favourite days of the year! It’s the only day when it’s perfectly acceptable to play practical jokes on your friends and loved ones, and many of what I consider to be the best pranks require very little preparation indeed! Here are some ideas for quick and easy pranks that are sure to get some laughs.
5. Computer Pranks
There are loads of computer pranks that you can pull, so I figured I’d just lump three of my favourites together. The simplest computer prank is just to unplug someone’s keyboard or mouse. You’d be amazed at how long it takes people to check whether or not the keyboard/mouse is plugged in – odds are, they’ll try all kinds of other troubleshooting first, thinking it’s a problem with the computer itself.
The second computer prank that I recommend is another easy one: when no one’s looking, install the Blue Screen of Death screensaver on someone’s computer. The screensaver simulates a fatal computer crash in a most realistic manner, and can be downloaded by clicking here.
But my all-time favourite computer prank is to take a screenshot of someone’s desktop and set it as their wallpaper, then hide all the icons on the desktop (and the icon dock or start menu bar at the bottom of the screen). When they go to start a program, the victim will be most confused to discover that their icons are completely unresponsive!
4. Brownie Turds
Phony poo is one of the classic comedy props, right up there with fake barf, whoopee cushions and rubber chickens. To make your own phony poo, just buy a cheap and greasy brownie from 7-11 and roll it into a snake. Use only about 1/3 of the brownie if you want to make a turd that looks like it came from a pet (this prank is at its absolute best when played on someone with a pet cat or dog). There are all kinds of ways to gross someone out with a brownie turd – even just leaving it on an obvious patch of floor is good – but my personal favourite is to put it somewhere like the bathtub and then, when it’s discovered, grab it and take a bite. The reactions you get when munching on what appears to be a piece of crap are nothing short of priceless. Dog owners are in a particularly prime position to pull this prank off, because they can just fill an empty doggy-doo bag with fake turds and take it to the park with their pooch, where they can snack on the poo in public, much to the disgust of those around them.
3. Cup o’Water
This one requires some easily obtained items to pull off: a broom, a large plastic tumbler, and a ceiling that’s too high to reach when standing on the floor. Fill the cup with water and stand on the chair, pressing the mouth of the cup to the ceiling. Then take the end of the broom handle and put it under the cup. Hold onto the broom so that it pins the cup to the ceiling, then call over your friend. Ask them to hold the broom while you get down. As soon as they take the broom handle from you, get off the chair and leave, taking the chair with you. Your friend will be stuck holding a big cup of water over their head, and they won’t be able to get it down without getting very, very wet.
2. Can o’Marbles
For this prank you need an empty can and a bunch of marbles. When you empty the can, make sure to open it from the bottom so that you can stand it with the label facing the right way up and it will appear to be a normal can of food. Fill the can with marbles, place a book over the open end, then turn it upside down and slide it off the book onto something that you know your victim will have to get at. A pile of notes, a book, anything where, if your victim wants it, they will have to pick up the can. As soon as they do, they will let loose a shower of marbles.
1. Gay Spray
I’m stealing this one from Penn Jillette, who in turn stole it from Mac King (I believe). What’s great about this prank is that you don’t need any props. All that is required is that you be out someplace public with friends. Excuse yourself to go to the washroom at some point during the excursion. When you return to your friends, keep rubbing your neck and smelling your hand, but don’t say anything until someone asks what you’re doing. Here’s your response (substitute “woman” for “guy” if you’re a lady):
“Did you see that guy who came out of the washroom before me? He had on a denim jacket and had sort of greasy hair? Well, I was washing my hands and he came over to me and said ‘Hey there, I just wanted to let you know that I like what I’m seeing. Want to come back to my place?’ I said ‘Sorry, uh, I’m not gay.’ Then he took out this little spray bottle and spritzed me with it and said ‘Now you are.’ I dunno, it’s really weird.”
While you say this, keep rubbing your neck and smelling your hand, as if trying to detect whatever was sprayed on you. Inevitably, someone will lean over to sniff (make sure it’s a member of the same sex). When they do, grab them and kiss them. Yep, that’s it. Kiss ’em! It always gets a huge laugh, and it’s gotta be the easiest prank in the world to pull.
Have a happy April Fools day! And pull some pranks for me…but not on me.