With the recent (although not overly successful) Conan movie staring Jason Mamoa, the sword swinging barbarian has been brought back into public consciousness. Being the fan of old pulp fiction that I am, I thought I should look at some of the original Robert E. Howard stories.

Robert E. Howard was a bit of a loner who grew up in small town in Texas. He had a hard time connecting with the people around him and was bullied as a child. As an adult he had to spend a good deal of his time looking after his ailing mother. As an escape he would write swashbuckling hero tales. The magazine called Weird Tales specialized in science fiction and horror stories. In the early 1930s, to fit their mandate, Robert E. Howard added a fantasy element to one of his swashbuckling tales and created Conan. Conan was not the only or even the first character Howard had created but he quickly became one of the most popular heroes of the era and Howard published 17 Conan stories in Weird Tales, some of which were novel length (all of which had rather scandalous covers for the time).

When asked what his readers wanted, Robert E. Howard answered, “action”. Conan is the ultimate male fantasy. He is big, strong, brave, a fierce fighter, a man of action, whose bravery and charisma wins the respect of the men he meets, and the affection of the beautiful, half naked (or just naked) women he saves. By claiming that the Conan stories are nothing but action, Howard did them a disservice. Although the Conan stories are relentlessly action oriented, there is often more to them than just naked women and Conan hacking down monsters. In The Phoenix on the Sword, the first Conan story, Howard deals with humanity’s fickle nature. In The Scarlet Citadel, he touches on the responsibility of leadership. Robert E. Howard created a whole prehistory to his world, going back thousands of years. The first story takes place near the end of Conan’s adventures, when he has settled down as King of Aquilonia, but Howard gave Conan a rich and varied backstory that he could dip into, setting a story at any point in Conan’s life.

The outsider is a recurring theme in the Conan stories. Conan is a man without a home. He left his inhospitable homeland to find adventures and riches in the south. There, Conan and his straight forward barbarian ways are out of place among the hypocrisy and the subtle cruelties of the civilized world. In the story The Tower of the Elephant, Conan feels more empathy with a blind, lame, creature from another world than with its human tormentor. Never marrying and growing up in a small Texas town with few friends, Robert E. Howard himself probably felt like an outsider. Being a writer and having a vivid imagination set him apart. It was likely, in part, this sense of isolation that drove him to commit suicide in 1936, shortly after he was told his mother would not come out of her coma and would die.

You can’t say Howard created, or even pioneered the Sword and Sorcery genre. Characters like Sinbad, Aladdin, Beowulf, and King Arthur were fighting monsters and evil magicians centuries before Conan. Robert E. Howard did however, popularize it for the modern reader. The Conan stories have always had a certain amount of popularity and the influence of them is still felt today. In the 1930s they were popular as pulp fiction, they were then bound together as collections of short stories. Marvel made Conan into a comic book hero. He really exploded when Arnold portrayed him on the big screen. The character then started to suffer from over exposure as he began to appear in video games, on posters, and lunch boxes. There were a plethora of knockoffs, of varying quality, with movies such as Beastmaster and Ator (I did say varying quality), and comic books such as Daggar the Invincible. The Conan character appeared in bad television shows and cartoons. Parodies started to crop up. Conan stopped being cool and became the butt of jokes. However, if you wade through all the crap and go back to the source, Conan is still cool and still worth reading.

“Imagine a person, tall, lean and feline, high-shouldered, with a brow like Shakespeare and a face like Satan, a close-shaven skull, and long, magnetic eyes of the true cat-green. Invest him with all the cruel cunning of an entire Eastern race, accumulated in one giant intellect.” In Sax Rohmer’s The Mystery of Dr. Fu-Manchu (also published under the title The Insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu) that is the first description he gives of his title character. It also tells you everything you need to know about the book: Dark, pulpy, with an almost supernatural feel to it, and sometimes with more than just a little racism.

Sax Rohmer’s real name Arthur Henry Ward and was born in 1883 in Birmingham, England. As with so many writers of pulp fiction Arthur Ward’s first career was not as a writer. He started out as a civil servant. His first career in writing was as a reporter, covering London’s Chinatown, then as a poet, comedy sketch writer, and song writer. Finally he started writing stories for pulp magazines and adopted the moniker Sax Rohmer. Thanks to Fu-Manchu, Rohmer became one of the most popular novelist of the 1920s and 30s. He was once quoted as attributing the success of Fu-Manchu to the fact that he knew absolutely nothing about the Chinese.

The Mystery of Dr. Fu-Manchu is a dark, moody detective story filled with mystery and suspense. From the fog filled London alleys, to hot, dry summer nights at a country manor house, to a tense, foreboding haunted house, each chapter oozes atmosphere. (I don’t mind saying that when I was reading chapter 29, “The One Who Knocked”, late at night, if someone actually had knocked on my door, I probably would have screamed like a little girl.) As is the case with many books that were originally published as a serial, the story is episodic with a weak through story. Every couple of chapters is a new adventure as Sir Nayland Smith and Doctor Petrie try to foil another one of Fu-Manchu’s plots. This weakness is overcome by Rohmer filling the pages with exotic death traps, strange enemies, and near escapes for our heroes.

In 1912 Arthur Conan Doyle was still writing his Sherlock Holmes, stories and it is hard to read The Mystery of Dr. Fu-Manchu without thinking of Doyle’s detective. Like Holmes, Sir Nayland Smith is not part of Scotland Yard, but works with them. Both detectives are described as tall, thin, and serious men who are masters of disguise. The difference between them is that, unlike Holmes, Smith is not gifted with super human powers of deduction and observation. In fact Smith fails to stop Fu-Manchu about as often as he succeeds. Both detectives have a doctor as a sidekick, who also narrates their stories. Holmes often works with Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard, Smith works with Detective Inspector Weymouth of Scotland Yard. Holmes faces his nemesis, Professor Morriarty, the Napoleon of Crime, Smith goes up against Doctor Fu-Manchu, the Devil Doctor.

Sax Rohmer is smart enough not to over expose his villain. Fu-Manchu makes remarkably few personal appearances in a novel that bears his name. He is always at his most interesting and menacing when we don’t see him. All that is known about Fu-Manchu is that he is university educated, has a vast arsenal of deadly plants and animals, and possesses the most brilliant criminal mind our heroes have ever encountered. About his past, nothing is known. His plan is guessed at being Chinese world domination, but Sir Nayland Smith has no idea how or when this is to come about. The fact that Smith has been pursuing his nemesis as long as he has, and still knows so little about him, makes Fu-Manchu all the more appealing.

The Mystery of Dr. Fu-Manchu was published in 1912 a time when China was perceived as a mystery filled with exotic dangers. Chinese immigrants were viewed with suspicion because, not only did they look different, many of them also refused to let themselves be assimilated into Western culture. The Opium Wars and the Boxer Rebellion of 1898-99, that tried to expel all foreigners from China, gave rise to the concept of the “Yellow Peril”. To a Westerner, reading a Rohmer story in 1912, the Yellow Peril was personified in the mysterious, deadly, and yet fascinating, character of Dr. Fu-Manchu.

Fu-Manchu was very popular in his day, making appearances in films, television, radio and comic books. His last surge of popularity was a series of B-movies starring Christopher Lee in the 1960s. With today’s cultural sensitivity it is unlikely we will see a Fu-Manchu revival anytime soon. However, Titan Books has just re-released several of the Fu-Manchu novels. The Mystery of Dr. Fu-Manchu comes with a quick bio of Rohmer, historical context, and to whet your appetite for the next book, they also included the first chapter of The Return of Dr. Fu-Manchu. So, you never know, we may see more of The Devil Doctor yet. It is hard to keep a good villain down.

We at The Back Row feel that, despite its lackluster showing at the box office, John Carter was a fun, well written bit of swashbuckling sci-fi. And why shouldn’t it be seen as such? It was based on a series of books by Edgar Rice Burroughs – one of the best pulp writers of all time – and has influenced a century of sci-fi writers and film makers. So, with the recent release of John Carter on DVD, I thought I would write about the first three John Carter of Mars books (otherwise known as the Barsoom series).

Edgar Rice Burroughs is best known for his Tarzan series, but he wrote almost 70 novels. Not bad for someone who didn t start writing until he was 35 years old. Before writing he had failed at almost everything he put his hand to. One day he was reading a pulp magazine and came to the conclusion that if people got paid for writing he could write a story at least as bad as these. So, out of desperation he wrote the first John Carter book and started a brilliant career.

The first John Carter of Mars story, A Princess of Mars, was published as a serial 1912, with the title, Under the Moons of Mars. It is a fun, action oriented, adventure story, with a brave and likeable hero, aliens, sword play, and a beautiful princess. It is part of what became known as the Sword and Planet genre, and inspired things like Flash Gordon, Star Wars and Avatar. Despite the fact that Edgar Rice Burroughs fills almost every page with action, he still finds room to develop characters and relationships. He also builds a new world on Mars. He reasons that Mars, having a lower gravity, an Earth man, like John Carter, would be stronger and jump higher than people native to Mars, thus giving his hero a scientific reason for having super powers. When reading or watching Sword and Planet stories I often wonder,

Basic Story Line
Dick Tracy has to take on the Starks, a crime family terrorising the area.

Quick Facts
Released in 1938
Directed by William Witney and John English
Written by Barry Shipman, Franklin Adreon, Ronald Davidson, Rex Taylor, and Sol Shore
Starring Ralph Byrd and Charles Middleton

Directed by Witney and English and staring Charles Middleton, as the villain, Dick Tracy Returns in one of those rare sequels that is superior to the original.

The first Dick Tracy serial had several clichés common to serials. There was a mystery villain, in disguise, using a sci-fi weapon to attack San Francisco. Dick Tracy was turned from a police detective into an FBI agent and almost all the characters from the strip were dropped or changed. In this sequel, the writers keep things much closer to the comic strip. Dick Tracy is still a g-man and the new characters are back, but the story is much more of a straight up detective story. Dick Tracy was created as a grittier, American version of Sherlock Holmes. A tough cop, with powers of observation, and the ability to solve cases by looking at small clues.

The comic strip was known for its’ villains and its’ depiction of violence.  In Dick Tracy Returns, Dick is up against a family of ruthless criminals, whose patriarch is played by Charles Middleton, best known for playing Ming the Merciless in the Flash Gordon Serials. In the first chapter the family ruthlessly guns down a young agent on his first assignment. The rest of the serial plays out in a similar format to the Green Hornet serials with the gang committing a different crime in each chapter, with Dick Tracy foiling their attempts, and picking them off one by one. At the time studios were reluctant to show their heroes killing the villains. Here the writers come up with a clever way of getting around that rule, giving us a much more satisfying end to our villain.

Ralph Byrd is back in the title role but other changes make this a better serial. Charles Middleton is a much stronger villain and Lee Ford gives a subtler, and less annoying, performance than his predecessor, in the comedic role of Mike McGurk. The directing reins are also handled over to Witney and English, the most celebrated serial directing team of their time.

Dick Tracy Returns is a good solid serial. The only major point of contention I have with it is that due to the wording of the first contract Republic Serials signed with Dick Tracy’s creator, Chester Gould, they didn’t pay him for this sequel or the two that followed. As a writer, I can’t forgive them for that.

Things to watch for
-The power gets cut to a city block but the lights are still on.
-Dick Tracy has a wounded hand in one scene but not the next.
-Dick Tracy does a Tarzan swing.

The Back Row Weekly Serial Drinking Game
While watching a serial, anytime you or a friend point out a plot hole or inconsistency, take a drink. (Note: Yes, the lights and the hand are both worth drinks.)
Odds of getting sloshed: Low to Medium

With the Battleship movie coming out this week, and talk of Monopoly getting the film treatment as well as a remake of Clue in the works, I decided I would put together a list of other board games I think Hollywood should seriously consider making into their next blockbuster movies. Of course, Samuel L. Jackson needs to be in every one of them. Especially Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Snakes and Ladders

A ruthless criminal is holding hostages at the top of a high rise, has cut the elevator cable and has booby trapped the stairs. He has also released hundreds of venomous snakes throughout the building. A tough cop who plays by his own rules must climb the fire escape ladders to free the hostages. At some point in the movie Samuel L. Jackson must say, “Get these mother f***ing snakes off my mother f***ing ladder.”

Starring Samuel L. Jackson and Liam Neeson
Directed by Rob Cohen

Operation

A terrorist has surgically implanted bombs into people. A bomb squad of doctors must remove the explosive devices, but there is a catch. The bombs have been rigged that if you so much as touch the sides of the incision, both the patient and the doctor get electrocuted.

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson and Liam Neeson
Directed by Renny Harlin

Twister

A contortionist joins a group of storm chasers to check out unusual weather phenomena only to discover it is an alien plot to take over the world.

Starring Megan Fox, Dwayne Johnson, Samuel L. Jackson and Liam Neeson
Directed by Michael Bay

Sorry

A comedy about four brothers who decide to travel around the country to make amends for past wrongs while at the same time being pursued by an angry biker gang.

Starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Liam Neeson.
Directed by Wes Anderson

Guess Who

A police sketch artist goes after a serial killer who is a master of disguise.

Starring Samuel L. Jackson and Liam Neeson
Directed by The Wachowskis

Connect Four

Robotic aliens attack earth and start merging together. A squad of marines must stop the alien robots before four of them can merge together and become an unstoppable killing machine.

Starring Megan Fox, Jason Statham, Dwayne Johnson, Samuel L. Jackson, and Liam Neeson.
Directed by Michael Bay

Candy Land

A group of children must cross a magical land made of candy, ruled over by the eccentric Mr. Winky. They are also being pursued by an evil witch and find that in order to return home they must all fight to the death.

Starring Helena Bohnam Carter, Samuel L. Jackson, and Liam Neeson
Directed by Tim Burton

Jenga

A romantic comedy about two tycoons each trying to build the tallest building.

Starring Sigourney Weaver, Samuel L. Jackson, and Liam Neeson
Directed by Ivan Reitman

Trivial Pursuit

Six teams are sent on around the world, high octane, scavenger hunt to steal famous memorabilia based on the categories of the board game.

Starring Megan Fox, Jason Statham, Dwayne Johnson, Michael Cain, Scarlet Johanson, Sean Bean, Jackie Chan, Nicholas Cage, Samuel L. Jackson, and Liam Neeson
Directed by Rob Cohen

Hungry Hungry Hippos

An expedition is sent to explore strange reports in the jungles of Africa when they run into genetically altered carnivorous hippos. At some point in the movie Samuel L. Jackson must say, “Get these mother f***ing hippos off my mother f***ing boat.”

Starring Samuel L. Jackson and Liam Neeson
Directed by Renny Harlin

Basic Story Line
Criminal mastermind Fu Manchu is attempting to find the lost sceptre of Genghis Khan, that will allow him to proclaim himself ruler of Asia. It is a race between him and Detective Sir Nayland Smith to decipher the clues that will lead to the tomb of Genghis Khan and the sceptre.

Quick Facts
Released in 1940
Directed by William Witney and John English
Written by Franklin Adreon, Morgan Cox, Ronald Davidson, Norman S. Hall, Barney Sarecky, and Sol Shor
Starring Henry Brandson, William Royle, and Robert Kellard

Despite accusations of the stories being colonial, imperialistic, and racist, the character of Fu Manchu is just to cool to go away. Naturally, from these stories, comes a serial that is colonial, imperialistic, and racist. However, it is also pretty cool.

Dr. Fu Manchu was first created in 1913, in a series of novels and short stories by Sax Rohmer. With little regard for continuity Fu Manchu and his nemesis, Sir Nayland Smith, do battle all over the world in dark and moody stories that became an instant hit. Fu Manchu films started being made as early as 1923. Christopher Lee, Boris Karloff, Peter Sellers all have portrayed the criminal genius. He even appeared in the fake trailers that were part of the 2007 Grindhouse double feature. Fu Manchu has had a radio series, a short lived television series, there was talk of a Fu Manchu Broadway musical (It never happened, but I would pay to see it), Ming the Merciless, from the Flash Gordon comic strip, has obvious physical similarities to Fu Manchu, there is a band called Fu Manchu, and his signature moustache is now referred to as a Fu Manchu moustache.

As with most people of the time Sax Rohmer freely admitted that he had next to no knowledge of Asia. It’s pretty safe to assume that the people who made this serial also knew very little about Asia. It is this ignorance that gives Drums of Fu Manchu a very colonial feel. There are characters who remark that the British brought peace and order to Asia and only they can maintain it. In this serial the native Mongolians believe that the man who holds Genghis Khan’s sceptre will be their leader. At one point the heroes say they will leave the sceptre with the British military. At another point they say they will give it to the High Lama. In the end, the High Lama tell the Mongolian tribes that the British have the sceptre and that they should all look to the British as their kind and just leaders. It is this prevailing belief of the time, that only people of European descent are civilized, and it is their duty to civilize everyone else, that may make your skin crawl.

Fortunately there is more to this serial than just a bit of jingoism. It is a cat and mouse game between Sir Nayland Smith and Fu Manchu. It has an interesting combination of a dark and dangerous film noir detective story, with the flamboyant, over the top, style of a comic book super villain. Anyone who has followed my revues knows that I firmly believe that a good serial relies on a cool villain. Fu Manchu is not only a cool villain, he is the coolest thing in this serial. He has a slave army, that he has lobotomized, who use cool low tech weapons like blow darts, bolas, and throwing knives. He has a beautiful and dangerous daughter, who accompanies him on his dastardly missions. He has deadly pets, a sense of honour, and, of course, he has the moustache. He is a criminal genius who plots, lays traps, and has long term plans. He will not lie to his opponents. He will lead them forward and watch them walk into his traps all on their own. Next to Fu Manchu the heroes are boring and completely forgettable.

The directing team of Witney and English have made some of my favourite serials. (Of course, if you follow my column, you already know that.) Here they deliver a serial that is visually interesting, moves quickly, and has some good action sequences. Their three main actors all give solid performances. Robert Kellard, who plays Allan Parker, the young hero and Smith’s assistant, was already a veteran on two classic Universal monster movies, Dracula and Frankenstein. Witney and English also make good use of the drums in Drums of Fu Manchu. In the serial the drums are used as a forewarning of death, Witney and English use them as an effective device to build tension. Drums of Fu Manchu is another good serial by two of the best.

Drums of Fu Manchu is not without its problems. However, it should be viewed as a product of its time. Fu Manchu is one of those villains who is so cool he can rise above the controversy and has become an icon of popular culture. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to see if I can find a Sax Rohmer novel and one of Christopher Lee’s Fu Manchu movies.

Things to watch for
-A pit with a giant octopus.
-A poisonous lizard is use for a murder
-One of the best looking train wrecks I have seen in a serial
-A henchman with fangs
-Robert Kellard, playing Fu Manchu, playing Allan Parker

The Back Row Weekly Serial Drinking Game
While watching a serial, anytime you or a friend point out a plot hole or inconsistency, take a drink. (Note: Yes, the fact that the film makers can’t seem to decide whether the drums are real, in someone’s head, or just part of the sound track, is worth a drink.)
Odds of getting sloshed: Medium

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwHY3_GTCFM

Basic Story Line
Bruce Gordon launches an expedition to darkest Africa to find the source of an electrical storm that is threatening the world. There he finds a megalomaniac named Zolok who has been holding the scientific genius Dr. Manyus captive in the Lost City, under Magnetic Mountain. Bruce Gordon escapes with Dr. Manyus only to be pursued by a variety of villains all trying to capture Dr. Manyus and profit from his inventions.

Quick Facts
Released in 1935
Directed by Harry Revier
Written by Zelma Carroll, George Merrick, Robert Dillon, Eddie Granemann, Leon D’Usseau, Perley Sheehan
Starring Kane Richmond, Claudia Dell, William “Stage” Boyd

I have never seen a serial so racist and yet, at the same time, oddly entertaining. It is a cheesy, over acted, incoherent bit of politically incorrect nonsense.

The golden age of serials was the 30s and 40s – standards for what is considered acceptable have changed considerably since then. I have seen what is now considered racism and stereotypes in serials before. In Flash Gordon’s Trip to Mars, there is an uneducated black manservant. The Phantom has a condescending colonial feel. Jungle Girl talks about the good white medicine versus the evil medicine man. Batman was basically anti-Japanese propaganda. So, I thought I was prepared for The Lost City. I was wrong. There are brainless, giant natives that serve the villainous Zolok. They speak only in grunts, and crush their victims with their bare hands. There are slave trading Arabs. The natives either scream hysterically or follow orders subserviently, and speak only in babbling gibberish. The natives are referred to contemptuously as “Blacks”. In this serial there is tribe that has been turned white. One of the tribesmen was very upset because he was still black. He then jumps for joy when the good Dr. Manyus performs an operation that turns him into a white man. It’s something you have to see to believe.

Racism is not the only problem with this serial. The script is completely disjointed. There is not one villain, but instead six or seven. The first two chapters involve our hero trying to save the world from a megalomaniac. The whole saving the world thing, however, gets forgotten as a series of different bad guys try to kidnap Dr. Manyus and force him to work for them. It isn’t until the last two chapters that they return to the Lost City and destroy the equipment that was causing the world wide electrical storms.

This serial is a master class in over acting. The natives run around screaming hysterically. All the villains indulge in hand wringing and evil laughter as they perform with unfettered emotions and switch from menacing self-control to raging anger with little or no prompting. When William “Stage” Boyd is not laughing manically he is yelling his lines incoherently. In the final scene he inexplicably moves from mad ruler to just mad. It’s as if everyone in this serial cranked their performance up to eleven and left it there.

The Lost City is almost worth watching just to see Margot D’Use as Rama. She is sometimes referred to as the daughter of an Arab slave trader and some times called Queen Rama. Neither explains why she has a French accent. Margot seems to realize that she should not take this serial seriously and decides to revel in her role as a sultry, spoiled, sex kitten. She is one of the few characters in this serial with a change of costume. She has her around town costume, that looks like it was previously worn by harem girl in a production of Arabian Nights. There is also her flouncing through the jungle costume, a leopard skin mini dress.

This serials treatment of the African natives is extremely racist. However, the serial is so over the top and ridiculous it is impossible to take anything seriously. It stops being offensive and just becomes funny.

Things to watch for
-Really big natives
-The giants have a conversation of nothing but grunts
-A native screams hysterically and continuously as he is carried into the lost city, to his cell and then to the enlarging machine.
-Frankenstein style electrical equipment
-Margot D’Use Flouncing through the jungle in a leopard skin mini dress

The Back Row Weekly Serial Drinking Game
While watching a serial, anytime you or a friend point out a plot hole or inconsistency, take a drink. (Note: Racism is not really a plot hole, but you may need the drink anyway.)
Odds of getting sloshed: High

Basic Story Line
Lieutenant Terry Kent of the Coast Guard is hunting down the mad scientist who killed his brother and has created a deadly disintegrating gas.

Quick Facts
Released in 1937
Directed by Alan James and William Witney
Written by Barry Shipman, Franklin Adreon, Morgan Cox, Ronald Davidson, Edward Lynn, Winston Miller, and Lester Scott Jr.
Starring Bela Lugosi, Ralph Byrd, and Maxine Doyle

SOS Coast Guard is a perfectly decent serial. It has boats, planes, some special effects and Bela Lugosi playing the villain. However, what I think of most is how similar it is to other serials and movies.

The most obvious film to compare it to is the Dick Tracy serial. Both are action adventure serials filled with chases and fights. Both have intelligent and tough heroes who are trying to track down the madman who killed (or abducted) their brother. Both serials have the bumbling sidekick and the plucky female assistant. Both serials were released in 1937. Both are Republic serials, star Ralph Byrd as the hero and share some of the same writers. William Witney did not direct Dick Tracy but did go on to direct some of the Dick Tracy sequels. It is not surprising that as I was watching SOS Coast Guard I had the feeling I was watching Dick Tracy with boats.

The villain, Boroff, played by Bela Lugosi, is fairly typical. The mad scientist villain with the doomsday device is a staple of many serials, including Batman and Robin, The Crimson Ghost, and The Phantom Creeps. In fact, when Bela Lugosi wasn’t playing in horror movies he pretty much made his living playing mad scientists in serials.

The unstoppable, but silent, giant henchman is not something you find in most serials. Thorg is more of a precursor to James Bond henchmen like Odd Job and Jaws. Thorg is played by Richard Alexander, who is best known as Prince Barin in the first two Flash Gordon Serials. In serials henchmen are usually pretty unlikeable characters. They do the villains dirty work but have none of his charm or intelligence. They are not paid to think. They are paid to do what they are told, be unpleasant to nice people, bumble their boss’ plans, and completely fail to kill the hero at the end of every chapter. Thorg is different. You feel for him. Boroff turned him into what he is through brain surgery. He is a character filled with contradictions. He hates Boroff for what he did to him and the abuse he continues to receive, but is like an abused dog, he is loyal and loves his master.

The plot and characters are not the only bits of fiction in this serial. Although they don’t have ray guns, or devices that can render a person invisible, there is a large amount of made up science in SOS Coast Guard. Boroff has made a disintegrating gas that can melt anything but glass. The main ingredients to this gas are the rare elements are Arnatite and Zanzoid. He is selling this deadly and highly fictitious gas to the morally questionable government of the reality impaired country of Morovania. It is almost as if someone in the writing room said, “Hey! What if turned this highly corrosive acid into a gas that could destroy whole cities? But we don’t really have time to find out if such a gas exists or what would go into making such a gas, so we’ll just make it up.”

Although there is nothing really remarkable about SOS Coast Guard it is an enjoyable action adventure serial. If you’re into serials and boats it’s worth the watch. If you don’t know a whole lot about serials but are curious, there are others I’d recommend first.

Things to watch for
-Underwater fight scenes
-Bela Lugosi’s character playing with the dog he plans on disintegrating.
-A ship called The Toronto (Possibly. That’s sort of what it sounds like they’re saying.)

The Back Row Weekly Serial Drinking Game
While watching a serial, anytime you or a friend point out a plot hole or inconsistency, take a drink. (Note: I can’t recommend you take a drink every time a made up name gets use. I suppose it all depends on how drunk you want to get.)
Odds of getting sloshed: Medium

Side note: Director William Witney married actress Maxine Doyle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SuYaMlFBoQI

]]> /blog/2012/04/04/the-back-row-s-weekly-serial-review-secret-agent-x-9-1945/ Wed, 04 Apr 2012 21:21:52 +0000 /wp/?p=34488 Continue reading →]]>

Basic Story Line
During the Second World War the Japanese are planning on stealing a formula for making synthetic jet engine fuel. Secret Agent X-9 and a handful of spies from allied countries have banded together to stop them.

Quick Facts
Released in 1945
Directed by Lewis Collins and Ray Taylor
Written by Harold C. Wire, Joseph O’Donnell, and Patricia Harper
Starring Lloyd Bridges, Keye Luke and Jan Wiley

Although it is vastly different from the 1937 serial and from what Dashiell Hammett had originally envisioned as the comic strip, the 1945 serial is still representative of the Secret Agent X-9 character and fun to watch.

Secret Agent X-9 was originally a comic strip written by detective novelist Dashiell Hammett and drawn by Alex Raymond. Hammett left the strip after only a year when the publishers started interfering with the scripts. Alex Raymond left shortly afterwards. The new writer changed the character from a Dick Tracy-style detective to more of a James Bond. (About 10 to 15 years before Ian Fleming created James Bond.) That espionage adventure story is what this Secret Agent X-9 is based on.

While the 1937 serial had more plot and mystery, this version is filled with interesting characters, some strong performances and lots of action. (Including a climactic scene that involves the entire island that this serial is set on being carpet bombed.) You know who the good guys are, you know who the bad guys are, and, although X-9 doesn’t know what the Japanese are planning, the audience does. Although none of the characters have the layers of Jean Rogers and Monte Blue’s characters in the first serial, some clever writing and strong performances give us some very likeable characters. Cy Kendall plays Lucky Kamber the business man who runs the island with a delightful amount of confident, self-serving neutrality. Samuel Hinds plays an old barfly who is aware of everything that is going on around him but can’t be bothered to get off his seat to do anything about it, even when gun fights break out around him. Lloyd Bridges plays the title role. While most leading men in serials are forgettable, Lloyd brings charisma to the part.

An important note is the portrayal of Asian characters. It is a World War II American serial, so the Japanese are not going to come off looking good. Our villainess and many of the secondary villains are played with all the stereotypes you would expect. However, the main henchman is an Asian actor, named Clarence Lung, who plays his role admirably while avoiding many clichés. We also have Keye Luke playing Chinese agent Ah Fong, one of X-9’s partners. For me, Keye Luke is best known as playing Kato in the Green Hornet serials. Keye Luke plays Ah Fong with intelligence and humour. He is also written as X-9’s equal, saving our hero as many times as he is saved.

Although I wouldn’t say that the 1945 serial is better than the 1937 Secret Agent X-9, it is an entertaining serial and well worth the watch.

Things to watch for
-A new take on the dropping floor cliché
-Keye Luke speaking French
-Most of the international spies speak with an American accent
-The Allies refer to them selves as the United Nations, before the United Nations existed

The Back Row Weekly Serial Drinking Game
While watching a serial, anytime you or a friend point out a plot hole or inconsistency, take a drink. (Note: Yes, a secret agent carrying around I.D., with both his name and his code name, is worth a drink.)
Odds of getting sloshed: Medium

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=up25Ci5pAr8

Basic Story Line
A mysterious master criminal, known only as Brenda, steals the crown jewels of Belgravia (not found on all maps) and Secret Agent X-9 is brought in to retrieve them.

Quick Facts
Released in 1937
Directed by Ford Beebe and Clifford Smith
Written by Wyndham Gittens, Norman S. Hall, Leslie Swabacker, and Ray Trampe
Starring Scott Kolk, Jean Rogers, and Monte Blue

This serial does not have the cheesy fun of Flash Gordon, or the cool vigilante crime fighter panache of The Green Hornet. It is, however, a solid detective story with some interesting twists.

Secret Agent X-9 was originally a comic strip written by detective novel writer Dashiell Hammett and drawn by Flash Gordon illustrator Alex Raymond in 1934. Although that creative team left the strip after a short period of time, X-9 ran in comic strip form until 1996. Recently BBC did a radio series of Secret Agent X-9 that starred Stuart Milligan and Connie Booth. In the comic strip, our hero started as a nameless agent in a nameless organization. He once referred to himself as Dexter and that is the name he is given in this serial. In the 40s the new writer decided it was silly for a secret agent to be always calling himself by his code name, so he named the hero Phil Corrigan. In 1945, Universal released a second serial titled Secret Agent X-9 staring Lloyd Bridges and Keye Luke. I’ll be reviewing that one next week.

The serial Secret Agent X-9 has slightly better writing than most.  In film serials the story and characters are usually very straight forward. Here, however, the theft of the crown jewels is only part of a larger plot to topple the Belgravian Monarchy. Unfortunately, they don’t delve deeper into that plot, but it does motivate Jean Rogers and Monte Blue’s characters: Shara and Baron Karsten. The two of them are the most interesting characters in this serial. For most of the chapters, you don’t know whose side they are on. Are they working with Brenda, with the agency, or do they have their own agenda? Can they even trust each other? Will one betray the other? These are questions you don’t usually get to ask when watching a serial. The agency also uses what would be at the time cutting edge forensic science.  X-9 is able to capture Brenda by matching the bullets used in a murder to Brenda’s gun.

It is also a darker serial than most. Brenda has a weasely mob lawyer getting his clients off on technicalities. Two of X-9’s fellow agents get killed. The first is X-9’s protégé, a young man on his first solo mission. The second victim comes as more of a surprise: he is a main character who gets shot in one of the last chapters.

I say this in almost all of my reviews, but a good serial requires a cool villain. In Secret Agent X-9, the villain is interesting without being over the top. He is a master of disguise, which means he is played by multiple actors and you’re never sure who he is. For most of the serial, Monte Blue is playing a dual role as both Brenda and Baron Karsten. Our villain has multiple hideouts, with traps and secret passages. One of his hideouts is hidden on board a former-pirate-ship-turned-tourist-attraction. (The henchmen actually buy tickets to get into the hideout.) He is not the most memorable villain ever put on film, but he is effective.

By serial standards Secret Agent X-9 is actually fairly ordinary. It doesn’t have rocket ships or a megalomaniac with a doomsday device. It doesn’t have a superhero or villain in a mask and a cape. There are no impressive, room-wrecking fights, or horse riding stunts. It does, however, have an above average script, and that makes it worth watching.

Things to watch for
-Lon Chaney Jr. as a henchman
-An undercover agent disguised as a blind violinist
-A guide wire on a gun
-Continuity errors with regards to whether or not Brenda is left handed

The Back Row Weekly Serial Drinking Game
While watching a serial, anytime you or a friend point out a plot hole or inconsistency, take a drink. (Note: Yes, the fact that that the Brenda’s gang keep on going back to the same hideouts, even after they have been uncovered, is worth a drink. No, the fact that our villain chose the girly name Brenda as his alias while trying to build up a reputation as a dangerous criminal genius is not worth a drink, but should be.)
Odds of getting sloshed: Low to Medium

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=up25Ci5pAr8