Craig R. Baxley-directed Stone Cold (1991) is a really fun action B-movie surprise starring ’80s football star Brian Bosworth as Joe Huff, an undercover cop who helms a white supremacist/neo-Nazi biker gang helmed by Chains (Lance Henriksen) and Ice (William Forsythe). I think the goal here was to make him the next Sly or Schwarzenegger at a time when these macho guys were very bankable; unfortunately, Bosworth cannot act and lacks the charisma that made his contemporaries so iconic, but he’s still really cool in the role. Perhaps best of all, his character owns a pet Nile monitor lizard (definitely DO NOT feed it what Joe does lol), although his ’90s mullet is pretty dated and looks a bit skunky.

This movie is ridiculous from start to finish but wildly entertaining, featuring lots of over-the-top, spontaneous explosions, bad acting, cool stunts, and a ridiculous plot. The climax of the film involves the biker gang trying to take over the Mississippi Capitol, which felt disturbingly similar to the Capitol Hill riots/insurrection in early 2021. Also, I felt disconnected from many of the biker gang members, mostly because of their beliefs. I know it’s just a B-movie, but perhaps the film could have done more to condemn or interrogate the fascism in the gang – as it is, I can’t really sympathize with a character like Gut, even though he is presented as more sympathetic. I just wasn’t sure how to feel.

Henriksen and Forsythe are great as gang members, however, and no one holds back with the violence or action in this one. This was not the big break that Bosworth was hoping for; in fact, he didn’t have much of a film career after this, but it is incredibly watchable and outrageously violent. I was also really impressed that it looks like they still had the budget to use a real Huey helicopter for the climax of the film, even though it has so many B-movie qualities. Apparently Bosworth rides motorcycles and did all of his stunts for this too, which is pretty cool. I think Stone Cold is one of the great unsung ’90s movie treasures, and you’ll get hooked in from literally the first five seconds of the movie (that’s how action-packed it is!).

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

“There is no fate but what we make for ourselves” was the mantra for the two original films but Terminator 3 teaches us that, despite the delay, the war between mankind and machines will still be waged. I’ve been a staunch advocate of Terminator 3 since its release in 2003 and I still see many merits in its admittedly inferior but nonetheless invigorating framework.

Cynics can easily perforate holes in the notion of a female T-X but I found it to be refreshing change-of-pace for a femme fatale angle despite its parboiled potential. She enhances her breast size momentarily but she never woos with her assets afterwards. For his signature role, Schwarzenegger hasn’t lost any of his considerable bulk or his self-deprecating humor (the Elton John sunglasses are still a funny sight gag).

In lieu of Edward Furlong and Linda Hamilton, the saviors-of-the-human-race are supplanted with Nick Stahl and Claire Danes. Stahl is a more adroit, sober actor than Furlong who would’ve been a petulant pest again. Moreover Danes is not a precious pin-up or a banshee like Willie Scott from Temple of Doom. She outfoxes John and his paintball gun with her ingenuity.

Fulfilling the prophecy in the 1984 of a fully autonomous defense network system in the guise of Skynet, Terminator 3 is the aggregation of the first two films without lampooning their legacy. I adore the concept that the T-X’s main objective is not John Connor; it’s his safety net of lieutenants in the future battlefield of the 2020’s.

Of course, the film bevels into a carbon copy of Terminator 2’s cat-and-mouse chase between John’s protector and his nemesis but it is not a sluggish retread. The Maximum Overdrive element of the T-X’s oligarchy over other electronic machinery (like cell phones and other vehicles) truly contributes to the dazzling centerpiece of a crane pursuit through downtown Los Angeles. The practical stuntwork of Arnold’s dangling body careening through a building is advisably fortified by virtuoso special effects and whirring sound F/X when the crane overturns forward. Mostow earns his stripes with this sequence. The tussle in the Air Force base’s bathroom sells the conceit that these are megaton machines with heft to them as Arnold and Loken blithely shove each other through stalls.

Rise of the Machines doesn’t get enough credit for corrugating provocative wrinkles into James Cameron’s fait-accompli chronology. Without the backbone of Katherine Brewster (Danes), John Connor would just be a lone wolf; a symbol with no rational reason for perseverance on the nuclear horizon. Lastly, the film is an appropriately downbeat capper to the trifecta with a cliffhanger ending where humanity is basically wiped out as John and Kate are safely encased in an underground VIP fallout shelter. Even with the 12-year interim, Terminator 3 is still a gonzo, dopamine-drenched rollercoaster with its roots deeply engrained in Cameron’s handiwork.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHhZK-g7wHo

Rating: 3.5 out of 5