‘Vakey, vakey, Petyr!’ Hats off to my amazing girlfriend Daisy for getting me into this! In the frenzy of recent vampire films such as Let the Right One In, the Twilight series , and more, What We Do in the Shadows emerges as an exciting addition to the vampire comedy film canon. It’s a parody in the vein of other horror/comedy classics such as The Fearless Vampire Killers with a healthy dose of This is Spinal Tap, and thus told in spectacular mockumentary fashion. Set in modern times New Zealand, the film tells of a group of vampires from across the ages who all live together: Viago, a flamboyant eighteenth-century vampire, Vladislav, a bat-shit crazy medieval vampire, Deacon, an ex-Nazi vampire, and Petyr, an ancient, Nosferatu-style vampire.

Despite their centuries of life experience, they are still clumsy and blundering, and the film chronicles their day-to-day lifestyle (hanging out, having house meetings, having awkward dinner parties and then killing their guests, etc.). At one such awkward dinner party, one of the guests Nick tries to escape and is unexpectedly bitten and blooded by the near feral Petyr (who sleeps in a tomb in the basement of their house). Nick decides to join their group, but they don’t really like him – I didn’t really like Nick either, he’s an idiot and tends to fuck things up. They really like his human friend Stu though. Anyway, the film satirises all aspects of vampire lore, from the Count Orlock style of Nosferatu to “The Beast” (you’ll have to watch the film to find out more) to the amusing rivalry between vampires and werewolves. For me, the film is just so fun and unpredictable that it’s a great thrill ride. The film also satirises the vampire’s assistant trope seen in Dracula and Let the Right One In, with Deacon basically making his assistant Jackie do everything for him without keeping his promise of blooding her. All the vampires really add something to do it, and the movie starts off on an exciting note, taking the mundane (a house meeting) and making it creative just because of its characters and premise (Viago knocks on Vladislav’s door and accidentally interrupts his weird orgy, and then tries to wake up Petyr, and when that doesn’t go so well, he gives him a rooster). The usual vampire tropes apply (death by sunlight, stakes and garlic suck, and they have to drink blood), but they’re explored in such hilarious and inventive ways, and that’s what makes this film so special.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2w3H_oLSIU&w=560&h=315]

It’s hard to tell you more without giving away the juicy bits, but I will say that the ending was great too, and I’m usually picky with endings (though they should have killed off Nick – what an awful character). Check out What We Do in the Shadows when you can – it’s got bite!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAZEWtyhpes&w=560&h=315]

My top five 2015 films:

Far from the Madding Crowd
The Revenant
Mad Max: Fury Road
Ex Machina
The Martian

VACATION (2015)

To scrutinize what went irredeemably wrong with the latest Vacation reboot is to pinpoint exactly where comedy went awry in the mid-90’s. The Farrelly Brothers came to providence and their movies slathered both gross-out, scatological humor with pathos in equal measure (and to wondrous effect in There’s Something About Mary, Kingpin and Dumb and Dumber). However, every success is the surrogate father of bastardized imitations.

2015’s Vacation is a mean-spirited, consistently unfunny copycat of that era where comedy reached farther down for the gag reflex than the rib tickle. How else to explain the rampant pedophilia jokes (Norman Reedus materializes in a cameo as a scruffy sexual predator who lures children into his truck with a teddy bear) and gay panic scenarios about James (Skyler Gisondo), Rusty’s (a mugging Ed Helms) introspective son.

To their credit, Jonathan M. Goldstein and John Francis Daley don’t waste any time before delving right into comically bankrupt material with an opening montage of random vacation photos over a Holiday Road redux. Rusty’s pubescent son Kevin (Steele Stebbins) is a putrid caricature whose sole purpose is the shock value of a youngster spouting expletives and being an Omen doppelganger to his older, emasculated sibling. You’ll want to whisk him off the screen and you’ll quickly denounce Rusty and Debbie (Christina Applegate) as abhorrent parents for raising and placating such a prick.

Each joke is accompanied by a painfully obvious execution. For example, Rusty brags about the sensor system in his Prancer but it quickly malfunctions when he wedges his arm in the door. Rinse and repeat the Murphy’s Law ad nauseum. We could realistically empathize with the Griswolds when they accidentally took a detour in the 1983 classic or when they skulked for miles in search of the seasonal tree in Christmas Vacation. Nothing is remotely corporeal or grounded when they frolic in raw sewage or nearly descend down a waterfall.

A stab at meta references (ala the infinitely superior 21 and 22 Jump Street) to James not “hearing about the original vacation” backfire because the phraseology doesn’t flow in the context. As Stone Crandell, the Adonis husband of Audrey (Leslie Mann), a stranded Chris Hemsworth is equipped with a gargantuan phallic prop and faucet analogies which are pretty haggard traits for jocular possibilities.

For mercy’s sake, Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo reprise their roles in a rather dejected capacity. Chase augments his Pierce wackiness from Community which is a complete disgrace to the nurturing Clark Griswold we all knew. Glimpsing Chevy fumble with a guitar is as unappealing a sight of forsaken instincts as Jerry Lewis in Hardly Working.

Perhaps, an Audrey-centric sequel might’ve been more fecund terrain since female-driven comedies like Spy and Trainwreck have done blockbuster business and garnered critical acclaim. Alas, we’re being suffocated by this unholy spawn. The ratio hasn’t swung in a continuation of the franchise’s favor. Time to repossess the Truckster and condemn Walley World as a contaminated wasteland.

Rating: .5 out of 5